This is a transcription of some journal entries about how I ended up with my familiar companion.
Spell To Restore a Cursed Yarn Animal
Step One: Knit the yarn back into the animal’s general shape, with an opening for stuffing. Stuff with lavender and leave for twelve hours to let the yarn rest.
Step Two: Harvest fresh Nelumbo Nucifera, Agrimonia Eupatoria, Boswelia Carteri, and Pollen Typhae Angustifoliae. Crush the agrimony, lotus petals, and frankincense into a paste. Add a cup of stream water and leave in the sun for three hours. Move into the shade of a tree and leave there until the rest of the supplies are gathered.
Step Three: With a light heart, gather hay at noon in the sun. Set in the shade with the herb paste.
Step Four: With a sorrowful heart, gather one bone and one sinew, one eye, and one tongue. Stuff them inside the lavender-filled yarn vessel.
Step Five: At seven o clock in the morning, remove half of the lavender. Speaking words of love and comfort, smear the bone, sinew, tongue, and the inside of the yarn vessel with the herb paste, and then stuff the rest of the way with the hay. Stitch the opening closed with a piece of hay and smear the stitches with the paste.
Step Six: Set the stuffed yarn vessel on the hearth by a fire scented with lavender, and sprinkle the pollen over the vessel. Let rest until following sunrise.
Step Seven: with hands dusted with pollen and a light heart, greet your reanimated animal with words of love.
Notes: No one I know keeps Coneflower pollen in their apothecary; not even Helena had any. I had to order some online, and bought lotus at the flower shop in town. Eating leftover lavender until I get tips from the next show, and I’ll take some of the leftover appetizers home. The library wants one of my gargoyles, but I just can’t part with them.
Also: for the bone, sinew, and tongue thing- just chuck a whole dead lizard in there. It sounds more complicated than it is. A fly would have worked too, but it just didn’t seem classy enough for Fluffers.
FYI: When you feel like the world’s shittiest bun-mom, doing ANYTHING with a light heart is tough. No grimoires are worth this. Except my Chimeric Zoology book, which is my major, and the only thing I actually enjoy studying. Don’t tell Helena.
I have good news. Last week after the spell worked Fluffers was reanimated but just as a little brown bunny, and all he did was sit in a corner, twitch, flinch, huff, and sigh. I don’t think I’ve ever been more brokenhearted. But today I checked him to see how his stitches were healing, and he scratched me with a chicken claw he’d grown! It hurt like a bitch, but he’s back! And okay, full disclosure, MAYBE I started mixing bits of torn pages from some of my grimoires into his hay. And Helena, if you are reading this, I’m not sorry! He was happy when he was weird! Aren’t we all? And he’s calmer now, he even defended me by biting one of the ghouls when it showed up demanding butter chicken and rice.
I’ve learned so much from Fluffers. I think we’re going to be okay. He broke a fang trying to eat the gargoyle’s kibble, and he’s definitely going to attempt to murder me when I try to fix it. Doesn’t even matter. This must be love.
Proud bun-mama news! At the last Witch March (we have four Halloweens a year here, one for every season) three of the kids from the elementary school were dressed like Fluffers! One was a brown bunny with spider legs and bat wings, one was a blue bunny with scorpion tail and fangs, and one was a leathery black bunny with googly eyes glued everywhere!
Oh, I didn’t tell you about that memorable tantrum, did I? Turns out, Fluffers hates mid-molt baths, and doesn’t think two eyes are enough to glare at me with when I dunk him, so he grows about 30 more. Anyway, it’s not like I enjoy bathing him when he’s molting. He’s slimy and blinking everywhere and extra thrashy, while his escaping skin throttles my wrists until I lose feeling in my hands. Next molt I’ll sleep on the roof under the stars with the gargoyles again, as per both of our preferences. Sometimes people, and bunnies, need space.
Keep a look out for the pics of the three kid Flufferses, I’ll be posting them once I get permission from the parents. The blue scorpion one took first place in the costume contest! Fluffers rules.